第一章姐妹们.docx

第一章姐妹们Chapter 1 TheSisters费林神父的病又发作了，这次他可能真的活不过去了。不过确切的消息是吃饭的时候姑父告诉我的，那个时候他和家里的科特正在谈论这个神父。我和费林神父的关系不错，老科特对我们之间的交往颇有微词，他告诉姑妈与费林神父接触多了会影响我们小孩子的心灵一一他大概是对费林有意见吧，我并不喜欢这个老头。晚上我睡得很晚，脑海中翻滚着费林神父瘫痪的样子和垂死的面容，那似乎是一副向我忏悔的表情。第二天早上，我专程去了费林神父居处，门口正贴着神父的讣告。看着这个情景，我想到了神父吸鼻烟的样子，要是他现在还活着的话，我肯定还会给他带姑妈送他的鼻烟的。我跟着费林神父学过很多关于宗教和神职礼仪方面的东西，我对那些东西其实比较感兴趣，当然还有历史和文法，然而现在我却没有勇气走进这个房子，站在外面我甚至有种轻松的感觉。我走在路上，老科特的话和昨晚的梦境都浮现在脑海里，但又我们在神父灵前祈祷黄昏的时候我跟着姑妈拜访了神父的遗孀和女儿。神父的遗孀把我们领上了楼，老太太还特意招呼我进了神父停灵的房间。我们在神父灵前做了祈祷，我却有点心不在焉。祈祷之后，我见到了神父的尸体，那表情严肃庄重，双手还抱着一个圣杯，房间里则满是花香。我们下了楼，神父的遗孀给我们准备了吃的东西。神父的一个女儿伊莱扎也在这里，姑妈和伊莱扎聊起了神父去世之前的事情。从伊莱扎那儿我们了解到，费林神父走得很安详，另一个神父奥洛克还提前为费林做了临终的仪式。大家都觉得费林神父是一个安于天命的人，伊莱扎回忆着父亲，姑妈则劝慰伊莱扎，说她们已经尽了心，而实际上也的确是，神父的身后事都是他的遗孀和女儿张罗的。伊莱扎想起了那些每天要为神父做的事情，现在都已经没有了意义，不停地哀叹着。神父的女儿还告诉我们，在他后来的时间里表现得有点奇怪，比如手里的书总会掉在地上。费林神父一直都想带全家人回老家玩，可惜到如今也没能实现。在伊莱扎的眼里，费林神父是一个很较真的人，尤其是对于自己的神职，更是一丝不苟。这次神父病重，实际上就跟那个被一个顽皮的孩子打碎的圣杯有关。我们也听说过这件事，现在从伊莱扎这儿得到了证实。这件事情本来跟神父是没有关系的，而且也没有那么神秘，更不会有什么神灵的责罚，但费林仍然认为是自己的失职，所以他常常会一个人偷偷溜到教堂里独自忏悔，害得大家到处找他。圣杯事件严重影响了费林神父的精神状态，以至于最后卧病不起。伊莱扎现在还能记得，神父独自忏悔时那种轻轻发笑的神情，那时候费林已经犯病了。,HEREwasnohopeforhimthistime:itwasthethirdstroke.NightafternightIhadpassedthehouse(itwasvacationtime)andstudiedthe1ightedsquareofwindow:andnightafternightIhadfoundit1ightedinthesameway,faint1yandeven1y.Ifhewasdead,Ithought,Iwou1dseetheref1ectionofcand1esonthedarkenedb1indforIknewthattwocand1esmustbesetattheheadofacorpse.Hehadoftensaidtome:"Iamnot1ongforthiswor1d/)andIhadthoughthiswordsid1e.NowIknewtheyweretrue.EverynightasIgazedupatthewindowIsaidsoft1ytomyse1fthewordpara1ysis.Ithada1wayssoundedstrange1yinmyears,1ikethewordgnomonintheEuc1idandthewordsimonyintheCatechism.Butnowitsoundedtome1ikethenameofsomema1eficentandsinfu1being.Itfi11edmewithfear,andyetI1ongedtobenearertoitandto1ookuponitsdead1ywork.O1dCotterwassittingatthefire,smoking,whenIcamedownstairstosupper.Whi1emyauntwas1ad1ingoutmystirabouthesaid,asifreturningtosomeformerremarkofhis:“No,Iwou1dn'tsayhewasexact1y.buttherewassomethingqueer.therewassomethinguncannyabouthim.11te11youmyopinion.,Hebegantopuffathispipe,nodoubtarranginghisopinioninhismind.Tiresomeo1dfoo1!Whenweknewhimfirstheusedtoberatherinteresting,ta1kingoffaintsandworms;butIsoongrewtiredofhimandhisend1essstoriesaboutthedisti11ery.“IhavemyowntheoryaboutitJhesaid.t4Ithinkitwasoneofthose.pecu1iarcases.Butit,shardtosay.”Hebegantopuffagainathispipewithoutgivingushistheory.Myunc1esawmestaringandsaidtome:“We11,soyouro1dfriendisgone,you,11besorrytohear.“Who?”SaidI.uFatherF1ynn.”“Ishedead?”“Mr.Cotterherehasjustto1dus.Hewaspassingbythehouse.,IknewthatIwasunderobservationsoIcontinuedeatingasifthenewshadnotinterestedme.Myunc1eexp1ainedtoo1dCotter.tTheyoungsterandheweregreatfriends.Theo1dchaptaughthimagreatdea1,mindyou;andtheysayhehadagreatwishforhim.”“GodhavemercyonhisSoUIjsaidmyauntpious1y.O1dCotter1ookedatmeforawhi1e.Ife1tthathis1itt1ebeadyb1ackeyeswereexaminingmebutIwou1dnotsatisfyhimby1ookingupfrommyp1ate.Hereturnedtohispipeandfina11yspatrude1yintothegrate.“Iwou1dn't1ikechi1drenofmine,"hesaid,“tohavetoomuchtosaytoaman1ikethat.”“Howdoyoumean,Mr.Cotter?"askedmyaunt.4WhatImeanis,“saido1dCotter,44it,sbadforchi1dren.Myideais:1etayoung1adrunaboutandp1aywithyoungIadsofhisownageandnotbe.AmIright,Jack?”"That'smyprincip1e,too,"saidmyunc1e."1ethimIeamtoboxhiscorner.That,swhatma1wayssayingtothatRosicrucianthere:takeexercise.Why,whenIwasanippereverymorningofmy1ifeIhadaco1dbath,winterandsummer.Andthat,swhatstandstomenow.Educationisa11veryfineand1arge.Mr.Cottermighttakeapickofthat1egmutton/*headdedtomyaunt.“No,no,notforme,“saido1dCotter.Myauntbroughtthedishfromthesafeandputitonthetab1e.“Butwhydoyouthinkit,snotgoodforchi1dren,Mr.Cotter?”sheasked.“It'sbadforchi1dren,saido1dCotter,''becausetheirmindaresoimpressionab1e.Whenchi1drenseethings1ikethat,youknow,ithasaneffect.,IcrammedmymouthwithstiraboutforfearImightgiveutterancetomyanger.Tiresomeo1dred-nosedimbeci1e!Itwas1atewhenIfe11as1eep.ThoughIwasangrywitho1dCotterfora11udingtomeasachi1d,Ipuzz1edmyheadtoextractmeaningfromhisunfinishedsentences.InthedarkofmyroomIimaginedthat1sawagaintheheavygreyfaceofthepara1ytic.Idrewtheb1anketsovermyheadandtriedtothinkofChristmas.Butthegreyfacesti11fo11owedme.Itmurmured,andIunderstoodthatitdesiredtoconfesssomething.Ife1tmysou1recedingintosomep1easantandviciousregion;andthereagainIfounditwaitingforme.ItbegantoconfesstomeinamurmuringvoiceandIwonderedwhyitsmi1edcontinua11yandwhythe1ipsweresomoistwithspitt1e.ButthenIrememberedthatithaddiedofpara1ysisandIfe1tthatItoowassmi1ingfeeb1yasiftoabso1vethesimoniacofhissin.ThenextmorningafterbreakfastIwentdownto1ookatthe1itt1ehouseinGreatBritainStreet.Itwasanunassumingshop,registeredunderthevaguenameofDrapery.Thedraperyconsistedmain1yofchi1dren,sbooteesandumbre11as;andonordinarydaysanoticeusedtohanginthewindow,saying:Umbre11asRe-covered.Nonoticewasvisib1enowfortheshutterswereup.Acrapebouquetwastiedtothedoorknockerwithribbon.Twopoorwomenandate1egramboyw