Carrie Pilby《哈佛少女的快乐清单（2016）》完整中英文对照剧本.docx

哈佛少女的快乐清单我来给你一个惊喜Here,sasurprise.猜猜谁不回来过感恩节？Guesswho,snotcoiningtoThanksgiving?你♥爸♥吗？Yourdad?他超虚伪的，我最痛恨伪君子He'ssuchahypocrite.Ihatehypocrites.很遗憾msorry.这是给我的吗？Isthisforme?我想或许这你比较用得上Ifiguredyou'dhavemoreuseforitthanIwi11.也是Right.Thanks.那就谢了我跟你保证IsweartoGod.这人言而无信、不知其可Themanisincapab1eofkeepingapromise.他这次的理由是？Whatwashisreason?你说呢？你们是麻吉啊Youte11me.He,syourfriend.凯莉他说他得待在伦敦Carrie-Hesaidhehasto,um,stayin1ondon.怎么可能有人想待在那里？Whywou1danyonechoosetostayin1ondon?伦敦烂透了1ondon'sawfu1.你上次去伦敦是何时？When'sthe1asttimeyouwerein1ondon?我12岁的时候WhenIwas12.你妈生病的时候吗？Whenyourmomwassick?少来这套Don'tdothat.哪套？Dowhat?你脑中在做联想Makeassociationsinyourhead.我不喜欢伦敦，只是因为太冷Idon't1ike1ondonbecauseitisco1d,让人很压抑itisrepressed.而且每个人看起来都像吸烟过度似的Andeveryone1ooks1ikethey,vesmokedtoomanycigarettes.你这周有交新朋友吗？Didyoumakeanyfriendsthisweek?你我都很清楚YouandIbothknow我之所以没什么朋友的原因there'saperfect1ygoodreasonIdon'thaveanyfriends.那你这星期做了什么？So,whatdidyoudothisweek?就一如往常WhatInorma11ydo.阅读？大部分时间是Reading?-Most1y.那你读了几本书？Andhowmanybooksdidyouread?17本Seventeen.你觉得一周读17本书Anddoesreading17booksinoneweek正常吗？seemnorma1toyou?不，当然不正常No,no,ofcourseit,snotnorma1.我的意思是Imean,doesskipping念书三♥级♥跳算正常吗？threegradesofschoo1seemnorma1?14岁念哈佛大学算正常吗？DoesgoingtoHarvardattheageof14seemnorma1?我显然并不正常mc1ear1ynotnorma1.我想我们的问题共识就在这里Ithoughtwe'destab1ishedthatwastheprob1em.凯莉，我要你帮我一个忙Carrie,Iwantyoutodosomethingforme.什么事？What?你和我要列一张清单YouandIaregoingtocomeupwith列出从现在到年底a1istofgoa1syou'regoingtoachieve你要达成的目标betweennowandtheendoftheyear.因此我要你为下次的咨♥询♥So,forournextsession,Iwantyoutothinkabout想一些列在列表里的项目someofthethingsyou'd1iketohaveonthat1ist.一些你这辈子做过且感到幸福的事Thingsyou'vedoneinyour1ifeandenjoyed.你希望我在清单上列哪些？Whatkindofthingsdoyouexpectmetoputonthis1ist?例如，加入社团Forexamp1e,joinac1ub.我♥干♥嘛为了融入那些Whyshou1dIforcemyse1ftogooutandmeetpeop1e缺德、没伦理、低智商的人whohave1oweredtheirmora1,ethica1,andinte11ectua1standards而逼自己出门认识那些inordertofitinwithotherpeop1e缺德、没伦理、低智商的人？whohave1owmora1,ethica1,andinte11ectua1standards?你真的很难相处软You'resuchacontrarian.我哪有No,mnot.给你一些有用的忠告A1itt1ehe1pfu1advice.一、试着别那么武断One,trytostoppontificating别在他人面前秀你的极高智商andrubbingyourexceptiona11yhighIQinpeop1e'snoses.二、给人性一个机会Two,givehumanityachance.总有人会让你惊喜的Someonemightsurpriseyou.时间到了Time'sup.凯莉，等等Carrie,wait.你来得很晚Youwerequite1ate,soIdon,tmind我不介意多谈几分钟goingacoup1eofminutesover.我介意Ido.其实我正在读傅柯的（知识考古学）mactua11yinthemidd1eofreadingFoucau1t's"Archeo1ogyofKnow1edge."我超级推荐的Ihigh1yrecommendit,bytheway.还有，要是你跟我爸说到话And,ifyouspeaktomydad,麻烦转告他p1easegivehimthemessage我不接受他的理由或道歉thatIdon'taccepthisexcusesorhisapo1ogies对一位负责任的家长来说andthathiringmeatherapist找心理医师给我isnomoreasatisfactoryrep1acement和把太年幼的我送去上大学相比foranactua1parent,thansendingmeofftoco11ege都一样不妥当ataninappropriate1yyoungage.抱歉我有点.Sorryforbeing,um-我完全能理解Icomp1ete1yunderstand.感恩节快乐HappyThanksgiving.你也快乐Youtoo.嘿，凯莉，你好吗？Hey,Carrie.What'sup?嗨，朗诺Hi,Rona1d.需要菜单吗？Doyouneedamenu?-Oh,sure.喔，当然好现在还有人买♥♥DVD啊Someonesti11buysDVDs,huh?是啊，而且你知道吗？Someonesti11does,yeah.Andyouknowwhat?这样我永远不必边看电影Ihaveneverhadtowait边等它下载完成了forthemovieto1oadha1fwaythroughthefi1m.我要点汤11havethesoup.好的，没问题Yeah,sure.你好-嗨Hi,there.-Hi.听着，在你展开行动之前1ook,beforeyou1aunchintoyourmovesorwhatever,我只是要你明白Ijustwantyoutoknow我不太正常thatmnotrea11yintherightframeofmind无法和完全陌生的人调情聊天tomakef1irtychitchatwithatota1stranger.即使，我承认，你蛮可爱的Eventhough,admitted1y,you,requiteacuteone.但我已被我爸弄得很失望Butvejust-dea1ingwithbeing1etdown还不只一次bymydad-notforthefirsttime.而且我才跟心理医师谈得很不愉快Andvejusthadarea11ytoughsessionwithmytherapist.嗯不好意思Um-msorry.我只是想借用这张椅子IjustwantedtoknowifIcanborrowthischair.喔当然可以Oh,definite1y.Yes.拿去，尽管拿！Takeit.Knockyourse1fout!随你便椅子Notwiththe.chair.要我打包吗？Doyouwantmetopackthistogo?对，麻烦了Yes!P1ease,yes.那什么鬼啊？Whatthehe11isthat?喂！输米恩！Yo!Wor1dmusicguy!你好！Hey!-Canyougo你可以去别的地方andho1dyourone-man举办你的原住民单人音乐祭吗？aboriginefestiva1thingsomewheree1se?例如，澳洲之类的？1ikeAustra1ia?好吧Sure.嗨，爸Hi,Dad.亲爰的，你好吗？Dad:He11o,dar1ing,howareyou?收到你的讯息了Gotyourmessage.你不来过感恩节了You'renotcomingforThanksgiving.还真意外Shocker.真抱歉，亲爱的Dad：Sosorry,dar1ing.我真的以为能搞定Irea11ythoughtIcou1dswingit,但我就是走不开butIjustcan'tgetaway.反正那是美国人在过的It'ssuchanAmericanthinganyways.但我保证会去过圣诞节1promise11bethereforChristmas.要是你能提早通知就好了We11,itwou1dhavebeennicetohaveabitmorenotice.听我说，我有个好消息But1isten,Idohavegoodnews.我在朋友的律师事务所I'vefoundyouajobatthe1awfirm帮你安排了一份工作ofafriendofmine.这算哪门子的好消息？Inwhatwor1disthatgoodnews?超烂的消息好吗Ifanything,thatisvery，verybadnews.但对你有好处的Butit,11begoodforyou.我还是超前同辈四年We11,msti11fouryearsaheadofmypeers.你要我适应不良吗？Doyouwantmet