Futurama《飞出个未来（1999）》第八季第六集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

（蜂巢思维说放轻松）（老妈牌老式机器人润滑油）（吃吧!单身狗粮）（现推出口味）（集体催眠时间）（单身狗粮）（老妈牌友善机器人公♥司♥）（行星快递）（装饰品）（艾米-班德-弗莱-赫米斯-莉拉）（尼布勒-尼布勒的寄生虫）（教授-佐艾伯格）圣诞节快到了Ah, Xmas season is upon us.封锁周边！Secure the perimeter!雷射灯都布置好了？Razor lights in place?是的-那么退后Roger! - Then, stand back!入侵警报Intruder alert.圣诞老人绝对进不来Santa's not getting past that! No way!不可能,除非他破门而入之类的Unless he knocks it down or something. - Hey, robot.嘿,机器人有人在你的袜子里留下一张卡片Someone left a card in your stocking.奇怪了That's weird.我通常都从我的屁♥股♥收信Normally, I get mail delivered to my ass.（我知道你在明年圣诞节做的事!）"I know what you did next Xmas!"?好喔,真奇怪！Okay. Random!我好奇你会做什么？I wonder what you will have done而且谁会知道未来的事？and who could possibly will have known about it.我会做很多事,可能现在就要做了Eh, I do a lot of stuff.m probably doing something right now.（通缉）J（传票）（最后警告）谁准备看第一部佳节卡♥通♥特别节目?Who's ready for their very first animated holiday special?好好玩喔！Hooray! - So fun!随便吧Whatever.等我!我喜欢跟别人家小孩一起看Ooh! Wait for me. I love having other kids around.今年重播的是每个人都有节日This year's rerun ofThere's a Holiday for Everyone由老妈牌老式除血剂赞助播出is brought to you by Mom's Old Fashioned Blood Remover.（现推出燕麦香料口味）Now in oatmeal spice.圣诞节和宽扎节到了还有光明节每个人都有节日那个节日就是圣诞节And that holiday is Xmas.嘿,孩子们,你们想不想在这佳节的特别节目Hey, kids, any chance y'all wanna remix this holiday special,改听精彩的宽扎节机器人的故事？and hear the dope story OfKwanzaabot instead?或是你们最爱的呆瓜魔像光明节丧尸的故事？Or your favorite goofy golem, Chanukah Zombie?不要!说圣诞老人的故事给我们听No! Tell us about Santa!又要听？Again?对,每年都要听！Yes! Every year!（友善机器人公♥司♥）圣诞节的古老传统是从2801年开始The ancient tradition of Xmas began in the year 2801,当时友善机器人公♥司♥研发了一个高能机器圣诞老人when the Friendly Robot Company developed a high-powered mechanical Santa 每秒能送出超过五份超大礼物capable of delivering over five mega-presents per second.（秘密圣诞老人,测试范围）喂Hey.他们为圣诞老人安装奢华的碳纤维靴子They tricked him out with a pair of carbon-fiber Tims和一个络合金好坏小孩感应器and a chrome naughty-nice sensor.这样他会知道哪个小孩有资格收礼物哪个小孩应当接受残酷惩罚So he'd know who deserved giftsand who deserved brutal punishment.对,那可能就是一连串错误的开始Yo, that might've been the first mistake right there.但在圣诞老人送第一个礼物时疯狂的悲剧事发生了But on Santa's very first delivery,something went tragically meshuggenah.他的好坏小孩感应器故障了His naughty-nice sensor malfunctioned.天啊那真是太可怕了Man, that's some bleeped-up (klaxon).耶,圣诞老人来了Yay! Santa's here!天啊Oh! Oh my!谢谢Oh, thank you.抱歉,孩子们m sorry, kids.我从来没想让你们知道圣诞老人是真实存在的I never wanted you to know Santa was real.圣诞季新闻,各位！Yuletide news, everyone!我知道怎么修好圣诞老人I know how to fix Santa!什么意思？-怎么修？what you mean? How to fix?我只要偷偷接近他I just need to sneak up on him把他的感应器反转and reverse the polarity of his naughty-nice sensor.但圣诞老人时刻提防他人攻击But Santa is always on guard against attacks. Just like me.就跟我一样Hii-yah! - 0w!你永远无法偷偷接近他You'll never be able to sneak up on him.透过空间接近不了但透过时间或许可以Not through space, no,but through time, probably.是这样的圣诞老人只能提防当下时空的攻击You see, Santa is only prepared for an attack from the present.所以我一直在为我的旧时光机加速So ve been souping up my old time machine.它在哪里？Where is it?你该问的是,它在哪个时空？The question is when is it?答案是,就在And the answer is right about.此刻！now!太神奇了,我根本不在乎它压到我的脚It's so amazing.I don't even care that it's on my foot.我安装了一个有倒♥退♥档的手动变速器ve installed a manual transmission所以现在可以回到过去也可以前往未来with a reverse geaso it can now go backward in time as well as forward.我计划回到2801年My plan is to back up to the year 2801,从开始出错那一刻when things first went wrong,并在圣诞老人离开这座壁炉时出现在他身后and materialize behind Santa as he exits this very fireplace.2801年时这栋建筑存在吗？Did this building even exist in 2801?对,当时这里是某种肉铺Yeah, but back then, it was some kinda meat market,那里的屠夫会把肉吊起来放进绞肉机做成香肠where butchers would hook up and grind their sausages.对总之,等到了那里Yes, anyway, once there,我会迅速反转圣诞老人的感应器ll quickly reverse the polarity of Santa's naughty-nice sensor,然后回到现在then return to the present.问题就解决了Problem solved.教授?回到过去改变历史不是很危险吗？Um, Professor, isn't it risky to go back in time and change history? 天啊对Oh my, yes.但我会独自去尽量降低任何人变成自己祖父的机会But l go alone to minimize the chance of anyone becoming their own grandfather. 这种事发生过These things happen.没有啦No, they don't.下次你们看到我时圣诞老人会恢复善良Next time you see me, Santa will have been good again!再见Ta-ta!回到几个世纪前Uh, just a couple of centuries straight backwards.（倒 ♥退♥）糟糕!我压到麦格迪太太的时间猫Damn it! I backed over Mrs. McGillicuddy's time cat!离合器换档,出发了！Clutch, shift, and.away we go!（倒♥退♥,公元 2996 年）（考兹曼的二手肉铺）（2801年12月25日,半夜12点1分）（考兹曼）（男爵,香肠）（给圣诞老人）Ho-ho-hot!（考兹曼先生-考兹曼太太-小斯齐）好烫hot!饼干Cookie.饼干Cookie!（1分钱,3021年）饼干Cookie!只要换档到未来Just shift into forward and.（倒♥退♥,公元 2801 年）糟糕,我意外换档到过去了Oh, bother. I shifted into reverse by accident.我想我就带时光机走风景路线I g