精品儿童英文笑话模板.docx

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1、HWe wont,” the other two promised.Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, Well, I guess he isnt coming back, sowe might as well drink his coffee.HJust then a voice called from outside the door, HIf you do, I wont go.三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，回家去取伞吧。”最小的乌龟说，如果你们不把

2、我的咖啡喝了，我就去。我们不喝，另外两只乌龟容许说。两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，你们要是喝了，我就不去。Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Whois the laziest person in your class?Tom: I dont know, father.Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! Wh

3、en other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits inthe class and only watches how other people work?Tom: Our teacher, father.父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们教师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们教师，爸爸。But the teacher cried 可是教师哭了The six-year-old John was terrib

4、ly spoiled （被宠坏的）.His father knew it, but hisgrandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either criedor threw a temper tantrum （舌L发脾气）.Then came his first day of school, his first dayaway from his grandmothers loving arms.When he came home from school his grandma m

5、et him at the door.Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?Cry? John asked. No, I didnt cry, but the teacher did!六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。约翰放学了,他奶奶在门口接他并问道：学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有?哭？约翰问，不，我没哭，可教师哭了。Who is Stupid 谁愚蠢A teacher

6、was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying,“Everyone who thinks youre stupid, stand up!Little Johnny then stood up.The teacher said, nDo you think youre stupid, Johnny?”No, maam, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!1一个教师在对学生们讲心理学，谁认为自己蠢就站起来？ 她一

7、开场就说。小约翰尼站了起来。你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？ 教师问。不是的，教师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。Lost Purse丧失的钱包A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking inher purse, she commented, Hmmm. Thafs funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 billin it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.The boy quickly re

8、plied, “Thats right, lady. The last time I found a ladys purse, she didnthave any change for a reward.一个女人丢了手提包，有一个老实的小孩捡到后交还给了她。她看了看钱包，说：嗯，这么有趣，我丢的时候里面是一张20美元，现在成了 20张一美元。没错，夫人。小男孩立刻答复道，上次我捡到钱包时，那位夫人没有零钱奖赏给我。I know who god is我知道上帝是谁了A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?The mom think

9、s a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is

10、both gay andstraight.The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered hisquestion: Is God Michael Jackson?儿子：妈妈，上帝是白人还是黑人？妈妈：宝贝，上帝是白人也是黑人!儿子：那上帝是男人还是女人？妈妈：宝贝，上帝是男人也是女人！儿子：哦。我知道了，上帝是迈克尔杰克逊！His Fault他的错Billy: Mother, Bobby broke a window.Mother: How did he do it?B

11、illy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.比利：妈妈，波比打坏了窗玻璃。妈妈：他怎么打的？比利：我向他扔石头，他躲开了。Like father, like son有其父必有其子Son: Papa, whats the meaning of H Like father, like son”？Father: Bastard. What another scandalous thing have you done in the school?儿子：爸爸，有其父必有其子是什么意思呀？父亲：狗崽子，你在学校又干什么见不得人的事啦？They1 re Busy他们很

12、忙One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.“May I speak to your parents? ”Theyre busy. nHOh. Is anybody else there? 11The police.Can I speak to them?Theyre busy.HOh. Is anybody else there? 11The firemen.Can I speak to them?Theyre busy.nSo let me get this straight - your parents, the police,

13、 and the firemen are there, but they*reall busy? What are they doing?Looking for me. H铃响了，小男孩接了 。请你父母听好吗？他们很忙, 噢，那家里还有其他人吗？ 还有警察。我可以和他们说话吗？他们很忙。那还有其他人吗？还有消防员。我可以和他们说话吗？他们也很忙。”请直接告诉我一一你的父母、警察和消防员都在你家，但他们都很忙，他们到底在干什么？ 在找我。Torres excuse 汤姆的借口Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?Tom: Ever

14、y time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slow.教师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着：学校一慢行。I can not see it at all我根本就看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point themother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, “Honey, go see

15、 if thekitchen light is on or not?1 After a while, her son returned and said, ”Ma, the kitchen is so darkthat I cannot see it at all.H晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲突然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道： 宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢？过了一会儿，儿子回来说： 、妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见The New Teacher 新教师George comes from school on the first of September.“George, how did you like your new teacher?11 asked his mother.nI didnt like her, Mother, because she said that three and three w