应用文精批精改5(课堂讲稿)教师版.docx

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1、应用文精批精改5:远足活动（课堂讲稿）题目展示：假定你是李华,你校将组织师生进行一次远足活动,请用英语给外教JaSon写一封邮 件邀请他一起参加,内容包括：1.活动时间和地点；2.注意事项；3.表达期待。注意：1.词数80左右;2.可适当增加细节,以使行文连贯审题“三步走”一审文体:邀请信二数要点:三个要点思时态与人称：时态f 一般现在时和一般将来时人称一第一人称（我们）邀请信常用语料激活L邀请某人做某事4.计划/打算做某事7.接受某人的邀请10.表演节目13.参加聚会2 .代表某人5 .拓展某人的视野8.玩得开心IL渴望你的到来3.为了做某事6.丰富某人的生活9.在学校会议厅12.学生会14

2、.给某人留下深刻的印象15.有信心16 .作为他们的代表，我写信是想邀请你17 .安排:首先其次,最后,18 .将会有很多的活动，例如19 .我真诚地希望你能接受我们的邀请/加入我们，以及我相信20 .方便的时候请告知我你的决定。【参考翻译】1. invite sb. to do sth.2.on behalf of sb.3. in orderiaiming to do sth.4.plan/intend to do sth.5. broaden one,s horizon6. enrich one,s life8.have a good timclenjoy oneself10. give

3、 performances12. student union14.leave a deep impression on sb.7.accept one,s invitation9. in the school meeting hall11 . long for your coming13. take part in party15.have confidence that.16.On behalf of them, I am writing to invite you.17 .Here is a brief schedule (about this activity). First and f

4、oremost,. Inaddition,.Last but not least.18 .Th ere will be many activities, such as. .and so on.19 . I sincerely hope you can accept our invitation /join us and 1 am deeplyconvinced that.20 . Please let me know your decision if it is convenient for you.学生作品展示：DetiqtrtMlq WiOWinq th矶仄 walking，勿尸例/加

5、加敦方/zed 力及 so所 m3Tm W泞ting 优 仙Mte qOa tO ComC.仅施ZeTA#工 由什历夕6万,加夕冰f访;F夕短立外用 良尹,优&W4而 0片的“4 灾t咐十VMMh。忒卡隹中广8方仇（方:ObFdKtirfat的3血:Gh同T阀好it由TTfskmwir女下陀时钻小胸tpM凝uf行曲g力次%立浙施广万版 NM成.函汐/W尚留方/的 N区沂舒丁 gt广 的0血沉沙加历t微TW 芯/gt077以亡切次歹既尸力/血斤。厂 书WfW所,怦班二保忖加的尼访K史好T莫阴砧恢次我力泞可切汴Zo汕 YWMR制T命运甘/也晚的出Hq切m波认院.循24。力龙一愉沈，选直叮” .膨他

6、尸亚4/7反，玄予二直凌熨.AsrMfMff齐。,比明叫fw泌锹 Fcr驴壮下叩西:ShaYS第一段:写作背景+目的1.Delightedly knowing that a walking tour will be organized this summer,I, m writing to invite you to come to join us in the activity. 状语+简单句,句子结构好;to come to是冗余信息,省略更好;可以结合对方喜爱户外 活动的兴趣爱好来写。 其它写法 1 ：This summer, a walking tour is being organi

7、zed and I am delighted to extend an invitation to you to join us in this activity. 其它写法 2:Fm excited to hear that there will be a walking tour/a hiking trip/an excursion organized this summer, and I wanted to invite you to join us for the activity.f 其它写法 3:1 am delighted to inform you that a walking

8、 tour/a hiking trip/an excursion is being organized this summer, and I would like to invite you to join us in this activity.f 其它写法 4:Deeply aware of your great pasion for outdoor activities,1 would like to invite you to participate in an excursion organized by our school. 第二段正文活动时间,地点及注意事项:2 .Fallin

9、g on August 12th,the activity began at 8:00 a.m. when we set off from school gate and lasted for 8 hours.状语+简单句（动词并列）+中间插入状从,句子结构挺好。其它写法 1：Taking place on August 12th5 the activity commenced at 8:00 a.m., starting from the school gate and lasting for a duration of 8 hours.T其它写法 2:Scheduled on August

10、 12th5 the event commenced at 8:00 a.m. as we departed from the school gate, and lasted about 8 hours.其它写法 3:Starting at 8:00 am5 the activity began on August 12th5 and lasted about 8 hours. We departed from the school gate.3 .Our destination,Tianmu Mountain,is known as one of the best places for es

11、caping the heat in summer and as well enjoying refreshing clean air.这句话语法没有问题,但是可以稍微调整一下顺序,使得句子更加流畅Tianmu Mountain, our destination, is known as one of the best places to escape the summer heat and enjoy refreshing, clean air.4. Yet,one should be mentioned was that you need to pack your lunch for th

12、e noon picnic.其它写法 1 ：However, it is important to note that you will need to pack your lunch for the midday picnic.其它写法 2:It is essential to bring your own lunch for the noon picnic, which is something important to keep in mind.其它写法 3:Dorft forget to pack your own lunch for the noon picnic, as it is

13、 a crucial aspect to keep in mind.5 .Digital cameras are suggested to bring to record the blissful time if you are willing to join us.这句话的语法和表达上有些问题,可以进行修改。修改提升:If you plan to join us, we suggest bringing a digital camera to capture and preserve the joyful moments.T其它写法 1 1Bringing a digital camera

14、to record the joyful moments is highly recommended if you intend to join us.T其它写法 2:To capture and preserve the joyful moments, it is suggested that you bring a digital camera if you plan to join us.补充注意事项：6 .Besides,you are obliged to wear school uniforms and prepares a picnic lunch in advance.2 .P

15、lease also note that the protection for environment is strongly advocated.3 .With a total of 15 kilometers, it is highly recommended to wear sneakers and carry enough food and water with you.4.It is highly recommended to wear comfortable shoes and bring something essential, such as water, sunscreen etc.第三段:表达期待6.The time you have made the decision whether you, d like to go,please inform me.Looking forward to your reply.the time是名词短语,这里缺一个连词,应改为the moment.修改提升:The moment you have made a decision whether you would like t