名师读后续写下水作文.docx

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1、原文题目：本文来自孙三五老师During this past year, ve had three instances of car trouble.Each time these things happened, I was sick of the way most people hadn,t bothered to help.One of those times, I was on the side of the road for close to three hours with my big Jeep. I put signs in the windows, big signs tha

2、t said NEED A JACK （千斤顶），and ofered money. Nothing. Right as I was about to give up, a Mexican family in a small truck pulled over, and the father bounded out.He sized up the situation and called for his daughter, who spoke English.He conveyed through her that he had a jack but that it was too small

3、 for the Jeep, so we would need something to support it.Then he got a saw （锯子）from the truck and cut a section out of a big log on the side of the road. We rolled it over and put his jack on top, and we were in business.I started taking the wheel off, and then, if you can believe it, I broke his tir

4、e iron. No worries: He handed it to his wife, and she was gone in a flash down the road to buy a new tire iron. She was back in 15 minutes. We finished the job, and I was a very happy man.The two of us were dirty and sweaty. His wife prepared a pot of water for us to wash our hands. I tried to put a

5、 $20 bill in the man,s hand, but he wouldn,t take it, so instead I went up to the truck and gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I asked the little girl where they lived.Mexico, she said. They were in Oregon so Mommy and Daddy could work on a fruit farm for the next few weeks. Then they would

6、go home.第一段：When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if d had lunch.第二段：After they left, I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.下水文：第一段：When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if d had lunch.1. Not until then did I hear my stomach rumbling.（句式：倒装。同时用到拟声词nimble说明我饿了，不直接说hungry）I s

7、hrugged awkwardly.（很短的一个动作，shrug,表示我的尴尬）A smile of sympathy flickering across her face, she suddenly turned around and darted toward her truck.（小女孩的同情，加上动作链来突出女孩的热情）For split seconds, the girl turned up breathlessly, a paper bag held tightly in her hand.（小女孩拿来一个纸袋,这里开始和第二段衔接。此处我简化了很多词，本来写了很多）“Here y

8、ou are. It will.do you good. She stammered in broken English, grinning mysteriously.（这里我抖了一个包袱：为什么她神秘笑？这也是为第二段铺垫，这里broken English 照应文中他们是墨西哥人，mysteriously是包袱）Maybe, it was her toy she didn,t need any longer.（我的想法）I waved to the family, seeing them walking across the street hand in hand.（纯粹是为了衔接下一句）第

9、二段：After they left, I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.In sight came a hamburger and a 20-dollar bill, to which a note was attached.（一般用倒装句来让一个东西出场，包袱解开）It read, I bought them with all my savings. Good luck.”（不需要解释，本来我也是写了很多，字数限制，都简化掉了）As if a bolt of lighting struck me, I gaped in gratitud

10、e and meanwhile felt a stab of guilt for my misunderstanding her goodwill.（描写我的震惊。这种描写手法太多了，我用的是比喻，同时用gape动作）I looked out of the window eagerly only to find their truck just alongside.What a coincidence!（无巧不成书！这是文学手法）The little girl returned me a sweet smile, her tinkling laughter filling the air.（这

11、里我想刻画女孩的可爱，我脑子里想到：她在丛中笑。为了唤起一种艺术画面的美 感，我用银铃笑声）It was the first time I was not sick of my car trouble but lucky for seeing a beautiful heart.（照应第一段，突出主题：美丽的心灵）翻译：我正要说再见，女孩问我有没有吃午饭。直到此刻，我才听到肚子咕咕地叫唤着。我尴 尬地耸了耸肩。她的脸上闪过同情的笑容，突然小女孩转过身，朝她家的卡车飞奔过去。 不一会，女孩气喘吁吁地出现了，手里紧紧握着一个纸袋。“给你，它会对你有用。” 她结结巴巴地用并不完整地英语说道，挺神秘地笑着。可能，这就是她并需要地玩具吧。我目送他们手挽手穿过马路，很感激地朝他们挥了挥手。等他们离开后，我进了我了吉普车，打开纸袋。眼前是一个汉堡和20美元，还有一张 便条贴在上面，写道：我用了所有的积蓄买了它们。祝好运。我目瞪口呆，内心满是感 激，似乎一股闪电击中了我。同时我为我误解了小女孩的好意感到阵阵的内疚。我急切 朝窗外看，正看到了他们的卡车就在旁边。多么巧合啊！小女孩朝我笑得很甜，她银铃 般的笑声弥漫在空气中。