练习双语：分手后老想着复合怎么办？先想清楚这9个问题.docx

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1、练习双语：分手后老想着复合怎么办？先想清楚这9个问题很多人分手了会后悔当初的决定，纠结要不要宓合。有人说，吃回头草绝对是一个糟糕的想法。但也存在这种可能性：分手只是一时冲动，重修旧好反而是件正确的事。那么我们究竟该不该和前任复合呢？关键在于，你必须想清楚为什么和对方复合，以及这些理由是否有足够的说服力。在下定决心之前，你应该仔细思考这些问题。1. Are You Just Lonely?你是否只是太孤独了？I,MSO LONELY! M SO LONELY!，, 一 - , A ，. i .b , d A 5 k 工This is the most important question. If

2、 youre feeling lonely or bored or listless, that is notthe right reason to get back together. Take up knitting or something, it doesnt matter. Just don,tget back together if this is your reason.这是最关键的一点。如果你只是感到空虚寂寞冷，那么这不是复合的恰当原因。做点编织或者无论什么其他事情，消磨下时间。如果这真的是你的理由，那最好还是算了。2. Why Did You Break Up And Is

3、It Still A Problem?你还没明白为何分手？You need to be really honest about all the reasons you broke up and whether theyre thingsthat have actually been fixed.你必须坦诚地面对分手的原因，想明白那些导致分手的问题是否已经得到解决。,According to the well-known couples researcher Dr. John Gottman, 69 percent ofrelationship conflict is about perpetu

4、al problems - and ALL couples have them/1 Pella Weisman,Dating Coach and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, tells Bustle, l,lt,s inevitable thatthere are ongoing issues in any relationship, and this is OK, as long as they are things you can livewith. If the issues are problematic, be honest w

5、ith yourself about this. Even better, get an outsideperspective from someone you trust.11 It may be that the issues are just too big to make it work.情感专家兼婚姻家庭认证治疗师佩拉威斯曼告诉Bustle网站：根据著名研究员约翰格特曼关于情侣关系的研究，69%的感情矛盾会一直存在一一并且所有的情侣都会有。在任何关系中，矛盾都是不可避免的，这没什么，只要你能接受。但是如果矛盾太深，你必须正视它。能够听取一个值得信任的局外人的看法就更好了。或许，矛盾本

6、身就很严重以至于你们根本解决不了。3. How Long Have You Given Yourself?你给自己多久的时间？You should always give yourself some breathing room. If you just broke up two days ago or, if it was a long relationship, even two weeks or months ago your mind hasn,t settled yet.Getting back together is a big decision, so make sure you

7、re in the right headspace.你应该给自己一些喘息的时间。如果你两天前才分手，又或者刚从一段很长久的恋情走出来两个星期，或者两个月，你的心还没有安定下来。复合是一项重大的决定，所以一定要确保给自己留足了空间。4. Are They Promising To Change?对方承诺要有所改变了吗?“The only reason you should ever get back together with an ex is because you,re willing toaccept them exactly as they are/ sex and relationsh

8、ip expert Ravid Yosef tells Bustle. Acceptance,no matter the circumstances, is the only way that you can make it when that thing that waswrong in the first place creeps up again/7 If theyre promising to change, you can,t fall for it. Youneed to be sure you love them just as they are.两性情感专家拉维德约瑟夫告诉Bu

9、stle： 你与前任复合的唯一理由，应当是你能接受对方真实的模样。无论什么情况，包容是在你们之间的老问题又重新出现时，你唯一能做的事。如果前任承诺改变，你不能轻易相信。你要确保自己爱的就是对方本来的样子。5. Are You Good Communicators?你善于沟通吗？Communication is a must if youre going to get your relationship back on track. ,Manycouples have problems communicating about conflict, especially if each partne

10、r has a differentcommunication style,11 Weisman says. If you canlt find a way to reach each other, reconciliation isgoing to be near-impossible.如果你想让你们的关系回到正轨，沟通是必须的。威斯曼称：许多情侣无法就矛盾进行沟通，尤其当双方的交流方式不同时。如果你找不到一个互相了解的方法，和解几乎是不可能的。6. Is This Just Because Theyre In Your Orbit?或许你想复合只是因为他经常出现在你身边？If you,re

11、on the same course or in the same office or have friends in common, it may just bethat you,re seeing too much of them and it,s making you think you should be back together.“Staying too close with them and spending too much time with them does not allow you to moveon from them, or to meet new people/

12、 psychologist and love expert Dr. Nikki Martinez tellsBustle. Make sure you give yourself a healthy distance.如果你们同修一门课、在同一个办公室工作或有共同的朋友，可能你只是因为太经常看到对方，才萌生了复合的想法。心理学家兼爱情专家尼基马丁内斯博士告诉Bustle： 和对方接触太亲密，以及花过多时间在他们身上，会让你无法放下过去，认识新的人。要确保你们保持恰当的距离。7. Do You Want To Put The Time In?你真的愿意为这段关系投入时间吗?Getting bac

13、k together and making a relationship work takes a lot of investment. You need tobe prepared to put in the time and energy and feel sure that your ex will do the same.想要重修旧好需要投入很多精力。你必须准备好投入时间、心思，并确信你的另一半也会如此。8. Are You Just Horny?你只是太饥渴吗？Are you? No judgement, but it,s probably not a good enough rea

14、son to get back into arelationship that wasnt working the first time.是这样吗？无意冒犯，但因此恢复一段原本不合适的恋情，可能不是一个好理由。9. Are You Scared To Be Single?你是害怕单身吗？Too many people run back to the last person they were with because theyre scared of beingsingle even though it can be a life-changing experience. It can act

15、ually be a time to learnmore about oneself and experience the greatest self-growth/ psychotherapist Mary Beth Somichtells Bustle. zzFeeling lonely as a result of being single can actually inspire individuals to have newexperiences that they would not have put themselves out there for otherwise.1太多的人是因为害怕单身才回到前任身边，尽管这项决定可能会影响他们的一生。心理学家玛丽贝思索密克告诉Bustle：单身实际上是一个了解自我与自我成长的绝佳机会。当人们因单身而感到孤独时，实际上会促使他们去体验恋爱时不会尝试的新鲜经历。Getting back together may feel like a good idea, and sometimes it is. Sometimes. Make sureyoure taking a long, hard loo